Life, full of mysteries and wonder. That’s exactly it. Mysteries come my way and they are not good ones. Life was good, I was set to do work on my animal projects with near daily effort. It was a clear path to achieving goals and gaining momentum.But then work and life hit me. I was set to work on a new project at work that would consume most of my time. Nearly any free time I had was gone. Work on weeknights with work on weekends.
What time do I have to achieve my animal project goals. What time do I have to sit/ponder and think when I am exhausted. I read a book once from a very intellectual fellow who I have no memory of that described ones will and mind set to work vastly outpaces ones ability. In basic terms, you think you can work more than you can. Reality can set in where fatigue grows and halts any production. I was always aware of that after reading this. Keeping work and pushing and eventually I burn out. When I’m burnt out, I’m not any good for the cause.
Events happen in life and other issues like a much much needed bathroom remodel only add to the tasks at hand. Being an adult and managing issues and finances is something everyone needs to face. Managing priorities is an ever constant battle. But they are all important, a nieces birthday, slowly doing demolition on bathroom, doing yardwork, playing with the dogs, etc. They all need time.
When I was younger, I was nearly free of all these things. I was free to work diligently until I dropped. I could pick up the next day and do it all over again. I always had energy and will. I was invigorated on my mission and to do something big. Life was much easier back then. Time is always so important. But now time is ever fleeting.
Does it make me any worse to do less. No, its just reality. I do not hate myself but there is an itch to make progress for myself. With my old cambodian project, time is something that was on my side. There were time for things to progress and grow outside of my own efforts. With this, the animals do not have time. With everyday that passes, they continue to suffer and die. And thats what gets me, they have no time to wait for me. So I hope this new work project eases and does not go too long. But my real work is my real job. It brings in the money, it what gives my wife and I our life we have now to do the things we do. So I just have to be patient.