For the past month, I’ve really had time to start sitting and reflect on things. Bathroom remodel is done, organizing the whole house is done, cleaning the whole house done, getting the yard to look nice is done. But a more pressing matter is coming my way. One that will flip my world upside down and cause it crash into a brick wall. But that crash will happen with a smile.
My sweet boy will be arriving in a couple months. This future I have been trying to shape for myself and animals out there will now be shared with the arrival of my son, Henry. I’m happy, nervous, agitated, stressed, elated all at the same time. I can’t wait for him to come. But like how I devote my time now to make my wife happy. My full attention and time will be for my son. Its just life. Time is always managed and too short. And now my time for the cause is even shorter. I will probably be incoherent, pale, and exhausted for the six months after his birth.
I think about my progress and what I have done. I try things here and there. I learned that I can’t go full steam all the time and I burn out. Progress is made little by little. Which I have done but maybe I’m disappointed in myself since I don’t have much to show for it. My life and my wife’s have changed significantly for the better with the drastic low amount of meat we eat and any animal products we buy from respected companies. But my point in all this was to make a difference outside of my own world. And even though its really hard, I know it will be nearly impossible to keep pushing after a child. I have to love my family and make sure everything is provided in the best way possible for them. They are my #1 concern and nothing else. But it begs me to think where does that leave the animals. They will continue to suffer everyday by the millions. One soldier is temporarily leaving the battle.
It makes me think about Congressmen Connolly making a speech to environmental advocates saying they need to be more proactive and ruthless. That to get the message out there, it needs to be out like the old days and having to walk door to door and talk to people. And I think who has time for that? And the average person who cares about animals or environment doesn’t come from a background of bravado to make impact. Wheres the money or backing to do so? My letters have gone unnoticed and I start to think whether to keep writing. Is anybody hearing my message? Is anybody making a change? Is anybody thinking about it all. This is just a mental break and I hope to keep this going. The fight still needs to continue.
I started My Dear Layla with a vision and promise. I’m still keeping that promise. the vision and passion is still strong and alive.